ElectricSpectre

Recently I’ve seen a lot of people on the tube in the morning with copies of Watchmen, eyes darting and brows sweating, as they desperately try to finish it before the movie goes on national release. The trouble with Watchmen is, even if, like me, you have a massive stash of comic books bagged and boxed in your attic, and a decent knowledge of American post-war political history, you are still going to have to read the thing slowly, 2 or 3 times, before you really get it. There is A LOT going on in that thing.

Because of this the movie is a difficult prospect for the reviewer, as Snyder’s take is incredibly loyal, and all the better for it. The lack of giant squid (and strangely-sugar cubes) aside, the whole panel-by-panel approach is very much in evidence, which results in a movie that resembles Rorshach himself. Schizophrenic, occasionally genius, occasionally rambling.

The movie is, it has to be said, overlong. but this is actually a bonus for the hard core, a lot of the more esoteric philosophy has been stripped out to keep the narrative flowing, but enough is retained to involve you, to make this a cohesive parallel history. The one concession to mainstream sensibilities comes during the (very violent) action sequences, with lots of slow-mo for emphasis, so that we can all tell that it’s, y’know, really serious. This is a major stumbling block throughout. Rorshachs voiceover is played deadly straight, but where it works in print, here it comes off as overly portentous and self-aggrandising (to be fair, that may be the point), with the gruff voice almost out doing The Dark Knight in terms of annoying you and distracting from the story.

It’s very much a three act piece, with the first two getting the majority of the drama, while act three shifts up an action gear, and in this context, actually comes as a relief after so much talk. The actors all do their best with difficult characters, struggling occasionally to flesh them out (something not helped by the overly-camp costumes, which I still say should have a far more home-made look to them. Even if you are a billionaire genius or a techno-wizard, it doesn’t mean you’re a seamstress as well does it?), but are helped out by the flashback introductions. In this respect, it’s Nite-Owl and, surprisingly given here role as token comic book female in the book, Silk Spectre who come off best, their romance allowing them to seem, conversely, like three dimensional characters.

All in all, it’s a talkative, sometimes slow-paced event. If you’re a fan of the book (and were before you heard about the movie) then it was worth the wait, and an upcoming director’s cut promises more satisfaction soon, but if you are looking for an event movie, you’re in the wrong town pal. Like the Watchmen themselves then, a deeply flawed, but brave attempt, which loses some of it’s resonance (Taking the giant monster out of a book which deconstructs super-hero comics, which were destroyed and re-started by giant monster comics, for example…), but retains much of it’s coldly cerebral character, and will surely reward repeat viewings.

And how can we nay-say a movie where a dog gets it’s head crushed twice?

Watch the Watchmen.

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