We’ve all been forced to pose for terrible school photo’s in the past, but across the pond our colonial counterparts have long made a tradition of posing for god-awful Christmas card pictures and inflicting them on friends and neighbours- And thanks to the internet, they are now a meme too! Awkward Family Photos is fast becoming hot, so check it out before your friends, and then look derisively down your nose at them when they mention it in six months- just make sure no-one has a camera when you do!

LINK (AFP)

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What with all the genetic engineerings going on right now, it shouldn’t be long before you can choose your baby’s haircut in advance-no longer will the jewfro stigmatise high school students. Of course, after the birth there’s always the slim chance that trends may change! Oh noes! What to do? Simply head on over to babytoupee.com (yes yes, I’m amazed the domain was available as well…) and pimp your toddler out in the latest style! While the ‘lil’ kim’ has slightly unnerving connotations, no-one would fool with Samuel. L. Baby, baby!

WIG ALERT

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Ever been to the zoo? Nice isn’t it? I went a couple of weeks back, there were two sleepy lions and some penguins. I had an ice cream.

What I didn’t have, however, is the mind-numbingly dangerous experience being offered in Argentina right now, where the Lujan Zoo, near Buenos Aires, has decided it’s cool to let people (in the words of Ronnie James Dio), ride the tiger. And the lions. And maybe stick their head in a crocodile’s mouth too.

Seems business isn’t that great down South America way, so zookeepers came up with the “controversial” (read:stupid) idea of letting you get up and personal with some of the most dangerous predators on the planet. Unfortunately, it’s strictly for adult guests so far, presumably so children can watch safely as their idiot parents are devoured.

LINK (Telegraph)

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Everyone who’s ever visited the south west of England already knows how weird it can be, coming over with a sort of overly-medicated, cider-soaked Lost Boys vibe (on it’s better days), so it doesn’t really come as a surprise to find that the town that bought us the Owlman appears to be home to yet more beasts unknown by science. According to the ‘Falmouth Packet’ newspaper, local resident Sam Bradbury had a pretty weird encounter after hearing some rustling in the bushes on the way home last night. According to Sam:

“It was a little bigger than a dog and had the face of a cat with eyes that were glazed over and luminescent like a lion’s at night. It left when it saw me but appeared to only walk on two hind legs much like a kangaroo would and had behind it a bushy tail like a fox.”

Online cryptozoologists appear to be stumped, but here at ES we pride ourselves on in-depth research, so I am going on record as saying that the artists depiction almost perfectly matches the 70s Marvel character ‘Rocket Raccoon‘. Man I’m glad I moved to the city.

LINK (FP)

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Been wondering where the Bees have been disappearing to? It seems likely their either in bed with one of those ‘kidney-punch’ hangovers, or hiding out, shamed of who they woke up next to. In an experiment which we are filing under ‘bloody pointless’, science today tells us that Bees on coke behave pretty much the same way we do. Yep that’s right, bad dancing and worse chat-up lines. For some stupid reason, Dr Andrew Barron of Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia, took it upon himself to coke some Bees up and watch them wiggle about. He then took perverse joy (Possibly- advice from our lawyers is pending on this statement) in watching the stripy fiends go cold turkey. According to the good doctor, the Bees danced ‘more energetically’ when dabbed with coke:

“This is a specialized form of communication to tell their nest mates about the rewards they have found.”

Rather like passing the word on the neighborhood crack dealer then. Given the fact that Bees lack gums, ES questions the usefulness of this research, but is pleased to find crap like this making it into the John Carpenter-esque Journal of Experimental Biology.

LINK (Guardian)

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