While looking at upcoming game releases I found this gem – a DS game based on Coronation Street where players take the role of a detective as they work through a brand new storyline and befriend the various characters from the street, including Ken, Norris, Maria and Blanche. Now this is no doubt going to be utter trash as per the majority of licensed fodder, but what if someone made a decent game based on a soap opera?

The ideal style of game would have to be an RPG where the player moves into the soap community – for example Albert Square. You head to the cafe and get a job from Ian Beale and help him slip vodka into Phil’s orange juice, but then it all goes a bit Fallout 3 when Janine informs you there is a bomb in the Vic which will destroy Walford so you have to choose to detonate it or deactivate it. You feel betrayed by Beale’s low wages so you let the bomb go off, and come back to see everyone in the town has mutated and you have to fight off dogs with Jim Brannings head. I think I may have got carried away.

The huge amount of characters also opens up the possibilitly of a beat em up – Coronation Street Fighter anyone? I am also quite shocked that the brains at ITV haven’t copied annoying Facebook app Farmville with an Emmerdale clone.

Do you have any ideas for a soap opera videogame or have I went a bit funny in the head?

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As an official life-long member of the international guild of lard-arses and freeloaders I like nothing more than a bloody great pizza on my bank holiday weekend, preferably delivered, and preferably paid for by someone else. Lo, it was then, that the heaven’s opened and Fuelmyblog.com, purveyors of fantastic blog-promotion and wonderful freebies did answer my fat, sweaty prayers, and offer to let me try out www.just-eat.co.uk, and as I am also a complete sell-out, I decided to hop on the world wide web and give it run for their money.

Yep, it’s one of those takeaway compilation sites, lots of local quote-unquote restaurants in one place, ideal for those of us who prefer to avoid all human interaction, or ever picking up antiquated devices like the phone.

So, I pop along to the site, and after a wrestle with the slightly intrusive and unnescessary sign-up process, make my way to the menus. This bit works fine, pick your booze and, if you must, accompanying food, and click on ‘pay now’. This is where the long sign-up comes in, as the site will happily take your credit card details, save them and no doubt flog them to dodgy telemarketers, huzzah!

As its my first time, I keep things simple and go with a Papa John’s ‘extra massive, stupidly hot’ or something,then enter my little voucher code..it’s all going well..click ‘pay now’..and..the payment site..doesn’t exist. No manner of fucking about with different restaurants, order details or re-entering info will sort this out, so no pizza for me, or you, or anyone else using the site. Sigh. A decent idea for the misanthropic web-based fat ass in your life, but until the coding is sorted out, and a friendlier interface is introduced, it’s a complete bloody shower.

Just phone them instead.

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