The religious are often ridiculed for their credulity, and where there’s beleivers, there’s a pile of cash to be made. So it is that ironically named Atheist Joshua Witter, from Orlando, FLA has hit upon a cash making scheme so blasphemous it’s genius.
As any bible-schooled fule kno, come judgement day all good christians get to go to Heaven, dead or not-courtesy of The Rapture, while the rest of us stay behind to fight the T-800’s and giant spiders. But what if, in your haste to get to the pearly gates, you forgot to mention where the spare key was to the gay couple next door? No worries mate, as Mr.Witter will make sure the message gets through. About 70 people so far have paid Witter $5 a pop to pass on messages to the doomed:
“Your hope lies with me. I am your mailman,” he vows. “I’ll do my best come Hell or high water to deliver those letters.”
Luckily for those damned who need to keep up with the news, ES is the kind of malignant entity that will roam the cursed Earth for all eternity (Or possibly get to go to Valhalla along with Dave Lee Roth).
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