Now, as you know, dear reader, the staff at Electric Spectre are constantly searching for ways to make ourselves more like Robocop (or at the very least Dick Jones), but it seems our efforts were unnecessary, as good ol mother nature has obligingly provided us with a lovely new disease which is booming right now: Morgellons Syndrome.
This little beauty first rocked up in 2002, but it’s just recently that it’s decided to spread, particularly in developed nations. The symptoms? Wires. That grow in you. That’s right-best check yourself for any lesions that won’t seem to heal up, because you could soon be home to a nest of blue, red and gold wiring! Wiring that apparently has a burning temperature over 1700 degrees, and is, quote “The by-product of a biological organism.”According to Dr Ed Spencer, MD to the mayor of California:
“it has no eukaryotic cells, it has no cell membrane, it is not a parasite, it is not biological, it is a machine.”
A machine that doesn’t match anything in the FBI database, and has been blamed on everything from chemtrails to genetically modified worms.
Electric Spectre has just found it’s very own disease, and it’s about to wetwire itself into half the population of Europe and the US. Kinda kicks the norovirus into a cocked steel helmet doesn’t it?
Check out the link for some cool gory pictures. Then check that scab on your knee for some more.
LINK (Healthmad)
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November 11, 2008 – 12:33 am
Nobody likes cancer (except possibly thrash bands who are stuck for a name), basically its the biggest dick at nature’s party, which is why we’re all glad to hear that someone has finally decide to cure it. Well, when I say cure, I actually mean “Blow the shit out of” which if anything is even better- good work then Balaji Panchapakesan of the University of Delaware (Hi…we’re in Delaware…), who has the fantastic idea of injecting nanotubes into tumours, and then blowing them up! According to the good doctor:
“The exploding nanotubes could be made to target tumours by labelling them with an antibody specific to the cancer cell receptors, and adding a chemotherapy drug to the water could wipe out any cells that survive or escape a blast.”
While I’m sure there are other, more nefarious uses for being able to explode people on a cellular level, this all looks promising, and hopefully will lead to healthy boobs and balls all round in the near future.
LINK
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November 3, 2008 – 8:24 pm
It’s November. Now, this is officially the most boring fucking month since Februaury, when we all get colds and feel all wimpy because we just want to hide in bed until the sun comes back. Well, if you’re suffering from an absence of interest then it’s time to do something about it- thats right, it’s Tache time again! As we all know, true manly men are encouraged at this time of year to grow an abominate 70s style monstrosity on their top lip. Now, apparently this is to raise awareness of prostate cancer, but if you ask me it just raises awareness of how awesome cool a big furry tache can be! I myself am of the ginger persuasion, so I’m taking the opportunity to get that ‘Handle Bar’ look popularised in top 80s cartoon ‘Bravestarr’. You however, may wish to err more on the Ron Burgandy side of things. Whatever, get growing wimps!
PS:Don’t worry, I won’t be documenting my growth on here- that would be ridiculous…
LINK
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