Although we try desperately to stay away from actual, relevant news here at ES, there’s no doubting that our general love of pork, death and google apps makes the looming swine flu pandemic completely irresistable, and this latest development absolutely perfect – that’s right, you can now track those poor dying Mexicans in real time, courtesy of the ever-lovin Google Maps.
This latest mashup comes from the misery-guts over at lifehacker, And while the we are generally a portal of doom, ES is taking the view that “Hey-if everyone is dead, we can finally move into the Tower of London!”
Worry yourself stupid here.
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Here at the ES office, we are fairly used to the various smells emanating from staff who live entirely on cheap burritos and cider, and, while it may occasionally activate the fire alarms, it doesn’t usually require an ambulance. However, in a story that combines pretty much all our favourite things (Death, Vomit, Chemical Attack, Naked Nurses) things didn’t go so smoothly up in Edinburgh yesterday.
The whole smelly debacle started when a local resident decided to pop his clogs, and took a whole bunch of poisonous rabbit pellets. Fair enough you might think. Unfortunately for medical staff from the Royal Infirmary, he washed them down with a glass of water. The result? Deadly Phosgene gas! According to witnesses:
“The man died a terrible death, it was like a horror movie. He started to convulse wildly in the ambulance and toxic gas was coming out of his mouth and from his body.He had taken rabbit poison in tablet form and there was a danger anyone who came into contact with him could be poisoned. The poison reacts with water to produce phosgene gas.”
Originally used as an upgrade on mustard gas during WW1, Phosphane burns the lungs and skin, causing vomiting and organ collapse (much like our office lunch buffet). Staff had to be hosed down and have their clothes burnt.
LINK (DR)
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We here at the spectre appriciate a good comedy death, (and the opportunity to court notoriety), and as we all know, anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to visit an ‘inflatable artwork’ deserves everything they get, but some of these poseurs did at least get a little recompense this week, as UK artist Maurice Agis was fined for actually killing people with his last piece ‘Dreamscape’.
Apparently he, along with Chester-Le-Street District council, broke quite a few health and safety laws when they put up a rubber lysergic monstrosity the size of a football pitch, in the middle of a wide open area known for regular high winds. At no point did anyone question the wisdom of this.
Agis apologised to family members, promising never again to con the arts council out of cash by pumping up things like this in public. While this is undoubtedly a tragedy, I still say it’s a pretty funny one.
LINK (CBC)
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Now, as you know, dear reader, the staff at Electric Spectre are constantly searching for ways to make ourselves more like Robocop (or at the very least Dick Jones), but it seems our efforts were unnecessary, as good ol mother nature has obligingly provided us with a lovely new disease which is booming right now: Morgellons Syndrome.
This little beauty first rocked up in 2002, but it’s just recently that it’s decided to spread, particularly in developed nations. The symptoms? Wires. That grow in you. That’s right-best check yourself for any lesions that won’t seem to heal up, because you could soon be home to a nest of blue, red and gold wiring! Wiring that apparently has a burning temperature over 1700 degrees, and is, quote “The by-product of a biological organism.”According to Dr Ed Spencer, MD to the mayor of California:
“it has no eukaryotic cells, it has no cell membrane, it is not a parasite, it is not biological, it is a machine.”
A machine that doesn’t match anything in the FBI database, and has been blamed on everything from chemtrails to genetically modified worms.
Electric Spectre has just found it’s very own disease, and it’s about to wetwire itself into half the population of Europe and the US. Kinda kicks the norovirus into a cocked steel helmet doesn’t it?
Check out the link for some cool gory pictures. Then check that scab on your knee for some more.
LINK (Healthmad)
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February 26, 2009 – 1:01 pm
Continuing our tradition of reporting on google map addons, here’s a nicely complimentary feature for the Disaster Mapper- Ground Zero. Basically pick your weapon- I am going with ‘Planet Cracker’, because screw you planet Earth- and GZ will generate you a nice little iconised map showing the effects of destruction and radiation poisoning. This obviously won’t work after an EMP hits you, but it is perfect for planning that tactical strike on Milton Keynes, or just knowing which way to run when the oil starts running out next year.
LINK (Carloslabs)
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