DARPA. Is there anything those kooky guys aren’t cooking up? Who knows-well, in the future, it could well be soldiers who are first with the news, thanks to a new push in telepathy by our favourite military think tank.
The agency just got it’s budget for next year, and buried in there is at least $4M dedicated to ‘Project Silent Talk’. The goal being “allow user-to-user communication on the battlefield The goal is to “allow user-to-user communication on the battlefield without the use of vocalized speech through analysis of neural signals without the use of vocalized speech through analysis of neural signals.”
This is on top of experiments into synthetic telepathy (read- cyborg soldiers) and ‘Mind-Reading binoculars.
LINK (Wired)
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The religious are often ridiculed for their credulity, and where there’s beleivers, there’s a pile of cash to be made. So it is that ironically named Atheist Joshua Witter, from Orlando, FLA has hit upon a cash making scheme so blasphemous it’s genius.
As any bible-schooled fule kno, come judgement day all good christians get to go to Heaven, dead or not-courtesy of The Rapture, while the rest of us stay behind to fight the T-800’s and giant spiders. But what if, in your haste to get to the pearly gates, you forgot to mention where the spare key was to the gay couple next door? No worries mate, as Mr.Witter will make sure the message gets through. About 70 people so far have paid Witter $5 a pop to pass on messages to the doomed:
“Your hope lies with me. I am your mailman,” he vows. “I’ll do my best come Hell or high water to deliver those letters.”
Luckily for those damned who need to keep up with the news, ES is the kind of malignant entity that will roam the cursed Earth for all eternity (Or possibly get to go to Valhalla along with Dave Lee Roth).
LINK (OS)
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Here at the ES office we spend hours slaving away over steaming Vic20 keyboards and ZXSpectrum consoles, so we were excited to learn of a new tool that may make our lives easier. Those of you on the bleeding edge of technology may have heard of a small, family run ‘web-site’ called Google. Apparently this search engine promises to find out shit for you when you can’t be bothered to read a book.
When it works anyway.
Yesterday the whole bloody thing stopped working for a bit see, and revealed the terrible dependence the world has on this thing- no gmail, no analytics, not even the ill-fated one with the catalogue pages. Thousands of emails went unsent, and a whole bunch of students couldn’t use scholar to cheat on their dissertations.
Happily, ES receives its news from a network of jungle drums.
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Tourette’s! It’s hilarious isn’t it? Electric Spectre have it and love it, but for those of you who don’t find screaming ‘Guntmuncher’ at a 64 yar old lady in church refreshing, science can help! According to the BMC science journal, magnetic imaging of sufferers shows unusual behaviour in the frontostriatal lobes, meaning a drug can now be constructed to control these areas and cut out the potty-mouthing.
And of course, a drug that can be used to shut down or light up targeted areas of the frontal lobes would have NO OTHER USE WHATSOEVER, our overlord informs us.
LINK(Eurakalert)
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We’ve all been forced to pose for terrible school photo’s in the past, but across the pond our colonial counterparts have long made a tradition of posing for god-awful Christmas card pictures and inflicting them on friends and neighbours- And thanks to the internet, they are now a meme too! Awkward Family Photos is fast becoming hot, so check it out before your friends, and then look derisively down your nose at them when they mention it in six months- just make sure no-one has a camera when you do!
LINK (AFP)
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