Death From Above!

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Surprise news today, as it looks like USAF may eventually take a ‘no more nukes’ stance. Why? Because now they have frickin laser beams instead! A succesful test was made at Edwards Air Force base in California of the Airborne Laser System, a billion-KPH beam designed to be mounted on a conventional 747 or “similar” aircraft (By similar, I’m assuming they mean no first class section). Apparently the idea is to use this as a missile defense system, but I give it a year before they mount this mutha on an F-21.

LINK (BBC)

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Holidays On The Sun

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Peak oil worries be damned, the space tourism market seems to be opening up as XCOR Aerospace announce that it will get you up up and away for half the price of rival Virgin Galactic (A company which, lets face it, couldn’t even deliver books and CDs this week). yep, you can now get to space for just $95,000 dollars, and do it in a much cooler looking ship than Virgin’s. No chance of joining the 50 mile high club though, as the flight will last just 30 minutes, and unlike on virgin’s Spaceshiptwo you’ll be strapped down in your space suit, but according to tour operator Jules Klar:

“The package includes five nights at a luxury retreat in Arizona, where participants will be prepared for the flight and receive medical checkups.Passengers will experience about a minute of weightlessness, and will, be able to look out from wide cockpit windows to view Earth below.”

Personally, I’m always interested in vacations that involve medical checkups, so assuming the credit crunch doesn’t destroy the nascent industry, see you there!

LINK (Rueters)

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CD Review – Dyscarnate: Annihilate To Liberate

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Dyscarnate are like an angry rhino on pro plus. Brutal, but very, very focused. This young Horsham four piece are one of the best things I’ve heard in a while. Not just demos, but from signed bands. It’s incredibly professional for a first release and, luckily, they totally have the talent to back up the glossy packaging.

It reminds me of Vader in a way, not musically, its far closer to American Death Metal in that respect – think Origin, Dying Foetus, Suffocation, Skinless etc – but the fact that it’s absolutely no nonsense head down intensity. No stupid samples or acoustic shit to taint the brutality of this release. It doesn’t let up. Not even a solo gets in the way of the lightning fast riffing and barrage of  double bass drumming.

No song outstays its welcome, things move along at a pace. Opening track Fuelling The Ignorance kicks along, the dual vocals hardly ever let up, and when they do, an absolutely MAHOUSIVE groove kicks in which fits nicely with the technicality on display. …And We March On displays the band’s ability to write catchy riffs along with complexity. Rape The Fallen has a more thrashy vibe than the rest of the album which works very well, kicking the pace up (as if it could really get any quicker) Assimilation Of Indifference begins slow but soon goes on to display amazingly technical drumming and pace. Album closer Opposites Detract is filled with stop – start circle headbanging brilliance that is sure to break some necks live.

One thing that really made the album stand out was no lazy reliance on simple snare blast beats. Sure, the blasts are there, but only when they work. The drums actually complement the riffing, rather than just being there. Also, we have to remember that this is the first demo of a relatively new band. It sounds like this should be on Metal Blade and the Dyscarnate guys are on tour with Cannibal Corpse. Really. It’s that good.

There is no real innovation on this album, no new ideas or taking Death Metal in strange new directions. What is happening here is an attempt at the perfection of death metal. And it gets damn close.

LINK (MySpace)

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Tits Ahoy!

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After years of trying, it seems the BBC world service can finally make the shipping news interesting, as reports reach us of a huge cargo being lost at sea. For once though it isn’t oil or garbage hitting the drink. It’s 130,000 pairs of inflatable breasts! The rubber juggs were meant to be included as a promotion (god knows what kind of promotion) with Aussie men’s mag “Ralph” but seem to have vanished somewhere en route, summoning up some truly terrifying mental images of boobied Somali Pirates. Luckily the magazine is obviously employing the latest information gathering techniques to hunt the cargo down, with editor Santi Pintado stating:

“If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.”

That aughta do it.  We are resisting the temptation to call him a tit right now.

LINK (aap)

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Reclamation By Nature

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bike doom

Let’s just remember that we are nothing compared to the insects. Occasionally, they just need to show us what they can do. Click the link to be reminded.

LINK

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