We here at the spectre appriciate a good comedy death, (and the opportunity to court notoriety), and as we all know, anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to visit an ‘inflatable artwork’ deserves everything they get, but some of these poseurs did at least get a little recompense this week, as UK artist Maurice Agis was fined for actually killing people with his last piece ‘Dreamscape’.
Apparently he, along with Chester-Le-Street District council, broke quite a few health and safety laws when they put up a rubber lysergic monstrosity the size of a football pitch, in the middle of a wide open area known for regular high winds. At no point did anyone question the wisdom of this.
Agis apologised to family members, promising never again to con the arts council out of cash by pumping up things like this in public. While this is undoubtedly a tragedy, I still say it’s a pretty funny one.
Do you remember how lame those photo-stories were, the ones that appeared in girl’s magazine and “comics”? If not, they went something like this:
Instead of hiring a talented artist to render the stupendous ideas of a psychotically creative mind with pen on paper, grab a camera and a couple of mates and take pictures of them in various mundane locations (round-abouts, school gates, Special Fried Chicken). Get them to ‘act out’ a story line that almost always amounts to a case of a simple misunderstanding and which is always resolved in one day. It doesn’t really matter whether those involved can act, as the story is usually so uneventful it would be possible to arrange the pictures into whatever order you chose, as long as badly placed speech balloons with typed text were stuck on over the top.
Clearly I am not a fan of this type of story telling.
While US Scientists seem to spend their time dreaming up ever more exotic laser weapons, here in the UK all the know-alls seem to have been employed by the ministry of the bloody obvious. More evidence of this today as a new report by William Amos at the University of Cambridge tells us that marrying within your close family will increase the likelyhood of, quote-unquote “poor health and infection” in your kids. And a third eye and penchant for chainsaw murder if Hollywood is to be believed. According to research carried out in Gambia, where intermarriage is common, children from…close…families were far more likely to suffer from TB than usual.
So, a huge grant, and dozens of the country’s top brains to tell us:
You can’t shag your sister and expect any good to come from it.
As you know, we here at ES hate the Nazis, history has proven that they were a bunch of assholes sent to spoil everyone’s fun, and unfortunately a few morons are still at it. (You can tell they are morons because they honestly believe it’s acceptable to wear Doc Martins in public.) This week, as if to prove how crap they all are, a self portrait by none other than little Adolph himself is up for auction. According to documents expert Richard Westwood-Brookes:
“From an artistic point of view, one can see why Hitler didn’t exactly make a success of his career as an artist. “
Richard of course, is being polite. This is crap. Even I could do better, and perhaps more importantly, so could this guy. Anyway, I know it’s rare, but if you do buy it-burn it.
Take an all terrain quadraped robot that can withstand being kicked. And add horns. Now you have something that can do serious damage. Just gotta get the speed up. Then it’s scary.
